The Hourglass
by icingsugar
Summary: GALEX oneshot set in e8. Gene confronts Alex about his feelings...but time is running out. Will their desperation get the better of them? Im rubbish at summaries . Please R&R. Rated for language & adult themes.


**Authors note: This is set at the beginning of episode 8 and does contain some spoilers. **

**This is a GALEX story. Rated for language and adult themes. This is my first Ashes to Ashes fic so please go easy on me. Please R&R thank you.**

**I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! EVERYTHING BELONGS TO THE BBC, THE WRITERS ECT. **

"You made a fool of me last night." Gene didn't want to bring _that _up…not now of all times, but the embarrassment still hung around his head like a swarm of angry wasps, stinging at his face and heart every time his mind replayed the events of the night before. He had already gotten twenty dozen or so nasty stings that morning, his mind unable to stop skipping back to that dance…that kiss…interrupted by bloody Keats. The moment he had been imaging since that bloody posh bird had shown up almost three years before…ruined. Just the thought made him want to rip somebody's bloody throat out…and since Keats wasn't present at the exact moment, it would have to be Alex's. He didn't want to bring _that _up. But he could feel the time slipping away like the sand in an hourglass…and although he couldn't quite think why…he knew deep down that he had no way of stopping it from pouring dry.

"I'm sorry. It was just…all too much." Alex suddenly found herself unable to look Gene in the eyes although it was the truth. The bloody god honest truth. Keats would have her believe that Gene was not to be trusted…that he killed Sam Tyler for reasons unknown…that he was leading her on, trying to change her somehow. But she knew inside that she had never stopped trusting Gene. He somehow made her feel safe, despite how _backwards _he may be.

"Too much?" Alex felt an awful hot tinge in her cheeks…like he was accusing her of something terrible and she was guilty. "You know, when you first came here you were having it away with some yuppie twat. Your knickers headed south so fast they needed their own rail card." Shame. The shame dug down so deep she wanted to bury herself…or die…or both. Gene's jealousy was clear…and she could almost hear the train of thoughts bubbling out of his head. _You slept with so many people and never gave a second thought about me. Never even considered me. Or did you? Did you know deep down how I truly felt? Did that scare you so bad you had to fuck everything you saw to forget? Or did you…did you feel…_(Oh the shame. It hurt too much.) _something too. Something you didn't want to admit to yourself because you knew it could never happen. _(Don't…not…) _Did you think of me when they were inside of you Alex? Did you imagine me making love to you…in a way none of them ever could? _(Oh you awful awful person.) _How is it you slept with them when the person who truly loved you is right here?_

Yes…she felt bloody awful. Her insides twisted like a poisoned snake, making her hate herself even more.

"I didn't take this world seriously then…I do now." The sudden realisation of how selfish she had been those three years ago hit her like a bus. _Did you even think of Gene? Of Molly? _(Of course.) But it hadn't been enough. The excitement and child like feeling of being able to endlessly explore and toy with the world around her had taken over her life back then. _If I eat all this bad food will it even count? Will the calories disappear when they go down my throat? If I screw around with this stranger will it even matter? Who could it possibly hurt? Molly? She's not even born yet. Myself? I deserve this. _(Gene?) _I'm hurting no one. _But that wasn't true. Never had been, never will be.

Gene didn't want to say what came next…what was always going to come next…inevitable. Fact. The end.

"And me?"

Alex felt all the air in her body being squeezed out, agonizingly. (That one hurt.) Gene's words winded her in a way which almost made her angry, despite everything.

"I take you very seriously Gene." An idea toyed in her head, brought on by the hurt and the shame and the anger which had crowded her mind in the last few seconds. But above all that there was a dominant feeling of longing…of desire. "In fact…why don't we just do it here? Right now?" (_We've waited so long.)_

This time it was Gene who was winded. He had imagined them making love thousands…no _millions _of times. But he had never pictured it happening like this. Her asking him. In his office. With his team right outside the door. Sure, they wouldn't hear or see…with the blinds down…but the shock winded Gene none the less…

"Alex…" He started but she had edged closer to him and was beginning to undo his shirt with swift skilled fingers. Gene's thoughts were nothing short of a huge mess. He wanted her…no _needed _her so bad. And there was that hourglass…right at the back of his subconscious…pouring away its precious sand as if it were dirt rather than gold dust. Time was of the essence, he knew, and the way Alex was unbuttoning his shirt was so bloody seductive, but there was a nagging feeling that this was all wrong. And now she was tugging at his tie, pulling him over to his desk. The part of him that was loving all this…the horny part that was currently dominating him…swept the contents of his messy desk onto the floor in one swift motion and his lips crashed against Alex's as he lifted her onto the desk, his hands grasping at her thighs in a desperate attempt to find something solid to keep him from spilling over that dizzy edge.

With Gene's shirt now successfully off and on the floor, Alex pulled off his tie and began working on his belt as she slid her tongue into his mouth. Gene's hands roamed all over Alex, his fingertips tracing her back…marvelling at the way her shoulder blades stuck out like the severed remains of angel wings. All the small beautiful details he forgot to add in his fantasies…

"Gene…please." Alex whispered, sounding more desperate than Gene had never heard her before. _Just…touch me. Please. _Her hands closed over his own and brought them down to her breasts, urging him to do _something _because she just needed him so bad. He moved his hands under her jumper and gently squeezed them, his fingertips brushing over her nipples whilst she moaned into his mouth, wanting (_needing_) more. He momentarily broke the kiss to trace his lips along her exposed collar bone, planting tiny kisses as she threw his belt to the floor.

"Gene." Alex cried. "Need you to…fu..fuuu…" Gene suddenly snapped back into reality. As if the blur of the last few minutes had come into horrible focus too sharp and too bitter for his liking. He felt torn in two. One, frayed tatty, half of him wanting (_needing_) to be inside of her…making love to her. The other half…the slightly more righteous half (_but still just as frayed and tatty_) knowing that what he was doing right now was somehow _wrong. _He moved his lips away from her porcelain skin to look into her eyes. She suddenly looked very confused and vulnerable and he felt terrible. "Gene? What's the matter?"

He gave a deep sad sigh. "It can't happen Bolly. Not like this." He cupped her cheek with one hand as he used the other to support his body hovering over hers on the desk.

The sudden sadness which filled Alex's eyes only confirmed what he felt…and what he knew he had to do. "What?" She shook her head in disbelief. "Don't you…don't you want this? Don't you want m…"

"Of course I bloody do you silly mare. I don't think I've ever wanted anything more in my life. I've wanted you since I first laid my eyes on you…even if you were dressed as a tart." She wanted to smile at that but she couldn't. She didn't understand. _Does he not want me after all?_

"But…I thought you wanted to…"

"Alex…I do. Bloody 'ell Drake…there have been times when I thought I wouldn't be able to stop myself from pouncing on you and shagging your brains out. But I can't do this."

Alex's eyebrows created a sharp V shape. "But…why?" _Bloody 'ell she looks like she's about to cry. _

Another sigh. "Because…you want me to _fuck _you on my desk. And I can't do that. I've wanted this for almost three years…but you deserve better." He stood up and began to slide his belt back through the loopholes of his trousers.

Alex was so shocked that she was frozen momentarily on the spot, still laid on Gene's desk with her striped jumper hitched up above her bra. When she came back to her senses…the connections between her brain and mouth sparking back into use…she slowly muttered "So what do you want Gene?" She slid off the table and pulled her jumper down. "Time…times…" She tried to put words to the feeling she had in the back of her mind. The image of a clock ticking…or counting down…like an egg timer…like a bomb…just waiting to explode. _And when it does explode…then what? Home?_

Gene felt a little uneasy at the mention of time…his own image of that hourglass still burned strongly in his mind. _So she has that feeling too? That time is slipping away from us. That soon…soon what? _He didn't know.

"I want you Alex. And I know we don't have long. But I can't fuck you on my desk and pretend its okay." He began to do up the buttons on his shirt.

"But…" Alex's eyes began to fill with tears. She was desperate. "I need you Gene." _You sound pathetic. _She thought, but she knew as she said it that it was true. She had needed him all along and she needed him now more than ever. _I'm scared._

He knotted his tie and walked towards her, slipping his arms around her waist and kissing her forehead. _I need you too bolls. _"That's what they all say." He joked, but Alex couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face. He felt her shake gently beneath his chest, and wiped the tears from her cheekbones with his thumb, his other hand caressing her shoulder blades through the fabric of her jumper…_angel wings._

He tilted her head up, his thumb tracing along her jaw line. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly, taking in everything about this moment; the way her body trembled beneath him as he pushed a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, the way her fingers wrapped themselves around his, the way their lips fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw and the way her lips tasted. When they finally broke apart Gene wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I can't be selfish Alex. I can't do this for all the wrong reasons; because times running out or because I've wanted to be in you since that day you were a prostitute-"

"I wasn't a prosti-"

"I know. Let me finish." He moved his hands up to hold her shoulders. Needing to hold something solid (_stable_) that would stop him from (_Flying over that dizzy edge_) kissing her until they were back on the desk, this time his trousers would come off…and his pants…and her lacy french…

"I can't do this like it means nothing. Christ on a bike…my team are the other side of those doors…I can't disrespect you like that Alex. I think me shooting you made me realise how much I actually need you…how much I actually love you."

Alex looked into Gene's eyes and saw he wasn't joking or even looking embarrassed. He meant every word and it almost made the tears start again…

"I should have told you before. I guess I was just scared I'd lose you for good if I did."

"Oh…Gene." Alex whispered, her hands finding his face. "I love you too. More than you could ever know."

"Oh…I dunno Bolls." He gave a small smile before kissing her again.

After that final kiss, Gene Hunt took Alex back to his flat and made love to her slowly. (_"Time is of the essence Gene…"_) (_"Fuck time. Since when has Gene Hunt cared about bloody time."_)

Afterwards they clung to each other like either of them might disappear at any given second into nothing, leaving the other with memories that they could never be certain were ever facts. Alex rested her head upon Gene's chest feeling safer than ever.

"I love you Gene…"

"I love you too Bolls…"

They made love again and again…as the clock ticked behind the scenes…counting down and down…each number closer to the final number of all.

_5, 4, 3, 2, …_

_(9:06) …it is always 9:06_


End file.
